So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
how drunk are you?
Several
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
