So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
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Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
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She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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