This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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