You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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