but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
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Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
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Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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