and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
