I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
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I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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