I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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