dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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