Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
