I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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