i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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