Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
