I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
