i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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