Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
