If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
