I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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