There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
