I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
