Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
