google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We are all done wearing pants today
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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