it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
