Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
