I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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