its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I need water and some morals
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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