I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
