i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
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