I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
