she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
