remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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