I want to stick my p in your. b.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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