soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
