Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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