So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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