I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
