I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
