I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I think people are normalizing furries
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize