so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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