Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you would pick up someone in the library
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
