i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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