WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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