guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
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Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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