obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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