My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
