the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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