You just made me feel so damn special
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
