My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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