hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
