First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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