You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
