I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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