No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
