the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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