i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
