mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I am puke
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
