Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
