dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
