I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Randomize
