Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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