I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
