I wanna passion pit in your ass
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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