it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize