Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
