True but thats because hes a fetus.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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