He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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