I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
