You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
